Capture You Grief: Day 22. Dreams + Rituals


I wish I’d dream of Zoey.  My friend has dreamt about her many times.  In her dreams, Zoey is often wearing something pink and sparkly.  Before my friend’s trip to Disney World, Zoey told her which rides she should go on. She’s also talked with Zoey about the Zoo.  I love hearing these stories—they are things Zoey would have been talking to her about if she was still here.  And I can picture her in the outfits she’s wearing in the dreams.

We haven’t figured out how to honor Zoey on her birthday and anniversary of her death yet.  When both dates rolled around this year, we left town.  We spent her birthday by the water.  We just escaped for the anniversary of her death. I don’t know that we can always do that.  Last year and this year, I’m running the Disney Princess in her memory.  But again, I don’t know if I’ll always be able to do that.  I’d like to find something meaningful to us that I know I can do every year.  And maybe I don’t need to mark specific dates—I know I honor her throughout the year.

Every night as I lay in bed, I touch Zoey’s blanket that I keep under my pillow and say the same prayer: “Give my baby girl a kiss for me. Tell her that I love her. Please be with us, give us strength.  And be with the others who need you now.  Thank you for the time we had with Zoey and the gifts in our life”.  And then I tell her goodnight and that I love her.

One thought on “Capture You Grief: Day 22. Dreams + Rituals

  1. You honor her in so many ways: Friends of Wings Illinois board, PFACC, Disney runs and anytime you do something for another child or person. It is always easiest for me to do smaller things more often then something big on one day. As I have progressed through my grief, it is harder for me to do something that takes a lot of heart effort. I realize that sounds strange, but sometimes the smallest, quietest simplest things give me the greatest joy.


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