Two

I have to admit that I cringe a little every time one of my friends makes a comment about wanting their children to stop growing up so fast.  I understand the sentiment. I was like that before.  When Zoey was here I wanted to freeze time.  I wanted her to be nestled in my arms like that forever.  As much as we tried to focus on making every day count, the little voice in my head that said “every day that passes is one day closer to goodbye” was persistent and nagging.  I wish I could have stopped time.

But now.  After.  Time did stop for her. I will never have new photos to share.  I only have the ones that stop at 120 days. I cried when I went to the cemetery today and saw the date etched on the stone.  May 1, 2014.  Two years..  Unbelievable. So I spent some time this evening looking back at the photos from the day of her birth and remembering those first moments with my daughter. Today we do celebrate her birthday.  It’s day to celebrate her life.

I desperately miss my baby girl with the soft bunny feet and those beautiful eyes.  And I wish she was here, posed behind a little cake with Mickey Mouse on it and a little candle of the number 2. I wonder what she’d look like now.  And I wonder what life would be like.

Happy birthday my sweet girl.  I’m sure you’re having an amazing party.  You can have extra sprinkles today.  I send my love to you wherever you are.