Fearless

In 1967, Kathrine Switzer pinned on bib number 261 and set out to run the Boston Marathon– a race no woman had ever officially entered. Along the way, she was attacked by the race director trying to remove her from the course.  She kept going. She got blisters on her feet that caused her to bleed.  She kept going.  And she finished.

This weekend, Skirt Sports held a 261 Fearless virtual run in honor of Kathrine. So I also pinned on the bib number 261 and went for a run.  I may not have run 26.2 miles, but I’ve had my own challenges to overcome. That’s what the run was about– feeling fearless in the face of whatever challenge you face.

To me, it’s more than actually having no fear. I just don’t think that’s realistic.  It wasn’t for Kathrine.  And it isn’t for me.

I was afraid to be a mom.  Afraid of the sacrifices being a mom would mean. Afraid I’d be a terrible mother.

But I did it anyway.

I was afraid of carrying a child with a life limiting diagnosis.

But I did it anyway.

I was afraid of her death.  I was afraid I’d lose myself in grief.

But I couldn’t stop it.  I’ve gained more insight into who I am and who I want to be.  I live each day anyway. Bruised & battered but moving forward.  And forever grateful for the moments I spent with Zoey.

Kathrine says she “turned the fear and humiliation” she felt that day into anger.  And I turned my fear into love.  Fearless love for my little angel.

261

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