Being overwhelmingly sad is exhausting. It’s a heavy weight to bear day after day. I’m tired of it already. And I know I’ll carry it forever. I think it’s a lot like training for the half marathon. The mileage will always be the same. 13.1 miles will always be 13.1 miles. But if I tried to run it a month ago, it would have been very difficult. I’m not sure I would have made it. I’m making slow progress in my training. I took so much time off and have never been a strong runner to begin with. But I’m moving forward, even if it’s slow. And come February, I’m sure I’ll make it through the 13.1 miles under the time limit and still moving forward. It will still be 13.1 miles but I’ll be stronger than I am today. I don’t believe the pain of losing Zoey will ever be lessened. Losing her will hurt just as badly 10 or 30 years from now. You don’t “get over” or “move on” from that kind of pain. But I’ll get stronger and better able to bear the weight of it. And in the meantime, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other.
anchoringthewaymires 