I’ve wanted to work on a place in our house to carve out a space just for Zoey. I’ve moved around furniture, bought new pieces, checked out different places in the living room and office. I want a special place for photos and mementos. I want something beautiful. A place that reminds me of her. I want a place that can move and change with us. Nothing ever feels quite right. Is it just because I have no design skills? Or is it something more? I’m not sure I’ll ever feel anything is beautiful enough to represent what Zoey means to me. And it bothers me that the reminders of the life that has changed me so deeply can all fit on a three shelf bookcase.
But I set out to put something together today. Like I said, I’ve been trying to figure it all out but today’s prompt pushed me to at least make a start. It’s a work in progress. I’ll bring back shells and sand from the beach near where we spread her ashes. I’ll find things that remind me of her. I’ll earn that medal at the Princess race for her. But for now there’s a bookcase that holds some of her photos, a few of the wonderful gifts we’ve received, a box with her blankets, books and bottles. And her ashes. They are there in little paper turtles that can be released into the water when we decide where to take them.
I believe I’ll always want a special place for Zoey in our home. Somewhere I can visit to remember. To look back on our time with her. To make sure she’s always a part of our family. To pray. To cry. To remember the joy she brought us. To celebrate her life.