Capture Your Grief: Day 2. Intention

zoey

I intend to live a more peaceful life in honor of my daughter.  The moments I had with Zoey were the best of my life.  I know that’s what everyone says.  But it’s true.  I felt at home with Zoey.  I felt at peace.  I felt like I was meant to be her mom and we were meant to spend those moments together.  I was always the most content when she was in my arms.  And I think she felt the same.  She could be fussy with someone else, but as soon as she settled next to me, she’d calm down.  When we took her out on our field trips, she wanted to stay nestled against me—willing to take in the world around her, but from the safety of her mom.  I wouldn’t have it any other way. And the moment she passed was so peaceful.  She wasn’t scared.  She knew here time here was beautiful, but that more was waiting for her.  And that’s I want that for my life here.  Beauty.  Peace. Calm. I don’t want to be anxious to get to the next thing. I want to soak in the time I have here and appreciate the moments of beauty like we focused on with Zoey.  I want to notice the flowers and the sunrise and the sunset.  I want to see the signs she sends to me.  I want to laugh and feel joy and feel pain. I want to breathe in this life.

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